dRobinson

February 1, 2009

It that “really” what happened?

Filed under: Jesus Shaped Faith — DRobinson @ 5:13 pm
I've been reading/ listening to CS Lewis' The Screwtape Letters. The other day another passage struck me as "so true." In this letter, Screwtape discussed how we humans are "completely fogged about the meaning of the word 'real.'" which now has two almost opposite  meanings: 1) the facts of the situation, and 2) one's emotional response to the situation.
So we "tell each other of some great spiritual experience, 'all that really happened was that [we]  heard some music in a nicely lighted building.' ... On the other hand, [we'll] say, 'It's all very well discussing that high dive as you sit there in an armchair, but wait till you're up there and see what it's really like.' [the tendency is] in all experiences that can make [us] happier or better, only the physical facts are real, while in all experiences which can discourage or corrupt, the spiritual (emotional) elements are the main reality, and to ignore them is to be escapist. Thus in birth, the blood and pain are real, the rejoicing is just a subjective point of view; in death, the terror and ugliness reveal what death really means."
It got me thinking, wondering how to talk about reality. Both aspects, the facts and the feelings, make up the experience of a situation for us.  In most cases, both are part of the reality of any situation. As one who wants to be in tune with reality and with the Real One,  I want and need to be aware of both in my own story, and to discount neither when others tell their story.   
Reference: In the linked copy from The Complete C.S. Lewis Signature Classics, on Google Book Search, see letter #30, on p. 185-186.

September 23, 2008

“Love is blind.” Not!

Filed under: Family n Friends, Jesus Shaped Faith — DRobinson @ 8:22 am
"I wish I didn?t know now, what I didn?t know then." So goes the Toby Keith song. There is a conventional wisdom that in many situations, it's better not to know; "ignorance is bliss." But when Thomas Gray penned the words, "where ignorance is bliss, tis folly to be wise", he was not saying ignorance is better than folly, but that it is less painful, but only for a time. Ignorance, not knowing, is often misalignment with reality. My wife is fond of saying, "Reality is our friend." And I agree. Having our thinking aligned with reality, with truth, really does set us free. What got me thinking about this was a discussion I had about a prayer that the biblical writer Paul prays for his friends in his letter to the Philippians. He prays for them: "That your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you will be able to discern what is best." (Philippians 1) Paul would say, "I'm glad I know now, what I didn't know then" even if, as Gray was talking about, the knowledge is painful. Paul juxtaposes love and knowledge, a rare combination. He prays that love may abound in knowledge. Knowledge is organized information; acquaintance with facts, truths or principles; aligning ideas about a thing to the facts. So here, Paul is asking God to help his friends to be knowledgeable, to be able to grasp and remember the facts, to think clearly. However, he doesn't want them to just be know-it-alls. Paul also asks for depth of insight. Insight is the power of acute observation and deduction; the clear understanding of a complex situation; grasping the inner nature of things intuitively. The objective of this knowledge and understanding is discernment of what is best, making wise choices in difficult decisions. Discernment is understanding; perception of that which is obscure; discretion (wise judgement); discrimination (perceiving differences that exist). In addition to having broad knowledge, Paul wants his friends to be able to use the knowledge with deep  understanding. This is not just a passive knowing, but wisdom that can actively guide good decisions. This is a huge issue for me. Part of the pose that developed out of my woundedness was a reluctance, almost an inability to make some decisions. In talking about this with a friend recently, we both realized that for him in certain situations and for me in most situations, we find we have no opinion. We do not take a stand. Why would a man, who has knowledge and understanding in most situations be either clueless or frozen in the place where those are needed to make a decision? We realized that in my case it stems from a strength and my response to a wound. The that response is an unwillingness (which morphed over time into an inability) to extend myself. It's an unwillingness to place myself in a position to be disappointed, to be hurt, or to lose. So rather than face life with an open posture, I have unconsciously held myself and my heart close. In insulating myself from pain, I also lost much of my ability to step up with a decision. I could usually see the options, but was unable to choose between them with any sense of certainty. Now one of my strengths is to listen and understand others. I can listen to one side of an issue and understand why he has decided that way. I can follow his reasoning and say, "He has a good point there." Then when an opposing view is presented, I follow it, and think, "On the other hand, she makes a good point, too." This is a real gift and strength. It often enables me to be objective and empathetic, even in impassioned discussions. It sometimes lets me build bridges between folks. But in many situations where decisiveness is needed, where I need to take a stand, I might as well flip a coin. My decider got lost long ago. So what's love got to do, got to do with this? Paul doesn't say, "That you may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight." He says, instead, "That your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight." Love and knowledge are juxtaposed here. How do they fit? The word that is translated love here is not our typical brotherly affection or erotic love. The Greek word Paul uses is agape: giving love. Agape is love that actively extends itself; gives itself on behalf of the other; risks for the other. It considers the other's needs as more important than one's own. With this understanding of agape love, it becomes clearer that If I am to really seek another's good, I need to know enough of the facts of their situation and back-story to understand why they think and feel the way they do. To love well, then, I need to know the other well enough to have insight about what will benefit them. But knowing all this isn't enough. I sometimes need to take a stand and act on behalf of another. I need learn to be decisive; having discernment to take my knowledge and insight about a situation and translate that into a decision, into action. Active love takes risks where the potential benefit to the other outweighs the risk to oneself. And for me, this is is a scary thought. You "Type-A" folks will say, "So what's the big deal? Just decide, will you!"  But that's easier said than done for someone with years of complacency -- note I said complacency and not indecisiveness. An indecisive person weighs the situation and is unable to decide between the options. The choice is too much for him. A complacent person may see options out there, but doesn't enter into the process. The effort is too much for him. So that comes back to love, doesn't it? If I love a person, and know that person, I need to be willing to extend myself, to risk making decisions, to act on their behalf. There are times when I need to do the mental, emotional, and sometimes spiritual work necessary to take a stand, make a decision, act. Complacency just can't be my default setting. But it will take work to get there. But in my opinion (I said "opinion"! Did you hear that?) it'll be worth it. I'm not sure what my next step is, but I do have the goal in mind. Maybe my next step is to take a step toward that goal. It is encouraging that a few verses earlier in Philippians 1, Paul says that he is "confident of this, that he [God] who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion." So though I'm not sure how to move ahead, I'll ask "he, who" what to do next.   I'll tell you how it goes. -----------

August 10, 2008

on Pain and Glory

Filed under: Jesus Shaped Faith — DRobinson @ 12:00 am
While talking with a group of guys, we were thinking about some really difficult situations a couple of them were facing. As encouragement, one friend brought up Romans 8 where the writer says, "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us..."   (Romans 8: 18 ff)   I got to wondering why/ how we find comfort and help from a passage like Romans 8. A verse like this can often seem like a pat answer, like  applying a bandaid, like “pie in the sky” thinking, without really dealing with the heart issues. What was up with Paul that his sufferings were so small compared to some future hope? I know that for me, in the middle of hard times, my world narrows to a tiny point a focus on my Painful Reality. So how was Paul, who wrote Romans, able to see a vista broader than his pain? Paul says our sufferings pale in comparison to the glory that is to be revealed. When my pain is all I can see, how can he say to me, "For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." (2 Corinthians 4:17) Light momentary affliction?! Was he just blowing smoke?  Was he in denial of his own Painful Reality?   (more...)

August 7, 2008

Oh .. my .. dog!

Filed under: Jesus Shaped Faith — DRobinson @ 11:05 am
Have you heard the one about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He couldn't sleep for wondering if there really is a doG. Yeah, yeah, old joke, but I love it. And I've been thinking about my dog, Shadow and about God. I have a dog who is just a delight to be with, and who delights in being with me. He enjoys a walk or a ride in the car -- he gets all wiggly when he sees me grab the leash. He loves to just sit and be touched: petting, ear scratching, head rubbing, face stroking, whatever. He'll sit at my feet and soak in the attention and the touch. Right now, he's lying on the floor about three feet from my chair; last night, he lay between the chair and my footstool. He just loves to be close. We don't have to be "doing" anything. He just wants to be nearby; he is well named Shadow. He is a dog, and he loves to get scraps from anything I eat, and I do toss him some more often than I should. He'll sit and watch a person eat, but none of that whining or begging like those other dogs do. Just sitting, watching, waiting, hoping. And he'll go away or lie down if we tell him to, at least for a while. He knows we don't like to be whined or pawed at, and he really wants to please. He'd rather be praised than eat. We're trying to keep him off the furniture, now that we have some new furniture. And he means well, but he's seven years old, middle aged like me, and he has always lay on the love-seat. He does mean well, but sometimes his old habit makes him "forget" about the new furniture. If I catch him on the couch, he'll jump right down and look wretched, tail between his legs, looking down then looking up at me from a sort of twisted-body posture, like "Aw, David, (look down, twist) I forgot again. (turn his head to look at me sideways) Why'd I go and do that? Will you still scratch behind my ears? (hopeful stare)" Like I said, he really means well... One of his rituals is to run to the stair-railing when he hears me coming in from the garage after work. He sticks his head under the railing right on the floor. There is just room for his nose. His whole head won't fit under. He lies there waiting for me to scratch his nose, and stroke his face, and -- of course -- scratch his ears. Now the other day when I came home, there was no Shadow at the railing. He was across the room looking guilty. You know the look. I walked over to the couch, faux suede, and there were paw prints. I looked at him and he looked .. uh .. uncomfortable. I pointed to the couch and said, "No!" Now here was the moment. This is it, whether it's with a dog, or our kids, or friends, or as we relate to God. He was looking down, but his eyes were flipping from looking away to looking at me, like he was watching table tennis. He so much wanted it to be ok. He offered his miserable self to me and waited. He longed for me to make it ok, and he knew it was my call. And I did call him over and he sat before me and we had a good time of ear scratching and tail wagging and hand licking. Psalm 123 says,
To you I lift up my eyes, O you who are enthroned in the heavens! Behold, as the eyes of servants  look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the LORD our God,  till he has mercy upon us.
The writer of Psalm 123 knew about this watching and waiting for it to be ok. Why does my dog lift up his eyes to me, till I have mercy upon him? Is it that Shadow knows the answer before he "asks"? Is it that somehow he has learned that he can trust me, even with his miserable self? Shadow has learned a secret to contentment. -- And if you watch this dog, you'll see he is content. To him, being related to me is more important than food or couches or anything else. It's not that he is worried about the rule, "Stay off the couch." He just knows that being on the couch doesn't please me; it can stand between him and my pleasure. He so delights in my pleasure, my touch, my presence, that he wants to "follow the rule' for the closeness. Now I love this dog. As Papa says in The Shack, "I'm especially fond of that one." And his being on the couch isn't a concern for me in terms of my fondness for Shadow. When I see my him on the couch, I love that dog, and smile at myself trying to teach an old dog a new trick. And I smile at him in his forgetfulness. And I smile knowing how sad he's going to be -- sad because he so wants to please me. And about how happy he will be when I scratch his ears. In this case, the "rule" really has more to do with other home values than about Shadow at all. It's certainly not there just to cramp his style. He may not understand why he can't get on the new couch now, when he could get on the old couch then. But he doesn't have to understand. He's a dog, after all. How much can he understand, anyway? He just knows that he can lie almost anywhere in the house: on the floor right in front of that delightful cool air thingie, on the kitchen floor that is always cool and nice, in the window seat where he can watch those birds come just outside to eat! (And he can understand that the glass is really there. The cat, on the other hand,...) Shadow has broad possibilities, and a narrow restriction. His obedience or disobedience about the couch doesn't affect my love for him. But I do want him to learn this one thing, so I enforce the restriction. And though I know it hurts him, I am happy when he feels ashamed about messing up again. It's not that I'm a masochist and want to see him suffer guilt. I'm happy because by his sadness, I can see how important our relationship is, how important pleasing me is, how important my forgiveness is to him. His sadness shows both him and me, that our relationship is far more important than a couch to lie on. Shadow somehow just knows that his contentment lies in his closeness to me: sometimes in physical closeness with petting and touching and all, but more often in emotional closeness, with nothing standing between us. Right now, Shadow is sacked out in front of the air conditioning vent, chillin. A few minutes ago, he came over and lay his snout on my chair for me to rub his head. He is content that he can do those things, that he is safe and welcome with me. And I am delighted in him because he wants to be near me more than anything else. Yep, I'm especially fond of that one!

August 3, 2008

Written and Directed

Filed under: Jesus Shaped Faith — DRobinson @ 5:31 pm
This morning, the guys and I were talking about our tendency to try to re-write the script of our lives. We keep editing the scenes, trying to make ourselves look better or sound more together. That conversation was ironic because the other night, at home we watched The Life and Death of Peter Sellers. That film shows Sellers editing every script he received, while at the same time losing not only the plot of his life, but also losing all sense of identity. He did not know who he was apart from the film roles he had so masterfully crafted. I've spent a lot of effort trying to edit my life -- as the guys fondly quote Eldredge, creating a nice little life for myself. So much so, for years I failed to really live it. I believed the Gospel had saved me from my sins, but I had stopped believing that it had any power for my life, or that God cared much about me one way or the other. However, that's changing. I have lately begun to see that God is actually quite fond of me. When I see God and his plans for me as really really good, I can get beyond the "what-ifs" and be satisfied with the plot and how he's written my character because I know and trust the writer. He's given me great freedom with my lines and cues,

August 2, 2008

Tim Keller on Gospel vs Religion

Filed under: Jesus Shaped Faith — DRobinson @ 8:01 pm
I just have to pass this along... In his Internet Monk blog, Michael Spencer linked to this brief rework of Tim Keller's discussion of Gospel vs Religion. The bottom line of this is" "The gospel is 'I am accepted through Christ, therefore I obey' while every other religion operates on the principle of 'I obey, therefore I am accepted.'" Check this out; then for more on the radical nature a of Gospel-focused life, read Keller's Centrality of the Gospel which begins, "the Christian life is a process of renewing every dimension of our life-- spiritual, psychological, corporate, social-- by thinking, hoping, and living out the “lines” or ramifications of the gospel. The gospel is to be applied to every area of thinking, feeling, relating, working, and behaving." My friend Britt introduced me to Keller's Gospel-focused message a few months ago, and it has been part of what God is up to in renewing me. When I see my life as a loving and joyful response to what Jesus has done for me and is doing in me,  I am truly living -- living in light of the Gospel. This morning in our band of brothers, the guys were talking about our tendency to work hard at re-writing the script of our lives. I've spent so much effort trying to edit my life that, for years I failed to really live it. But, when I see God and his plans for me as really really good, I can get beyond the "what-ifs" and be satisfied with the plot because I know and trust the writer.

July 26, 2008

Journal vs. Study

Filed under: Jesus Shaped Faith — Tags: — DRobinson @ 4:30 pm
>Why is it easier for me to study than to reflect? I intend to do some reflective writing about my life and end up looking up some tangential topic and writing about that. I intend to spend some time meditating on a passage in the Bible, and end up doing a word study of one of the phrases. I intend to be, and I end up do-ing.     I think that's it. It's much easier for me to do something instead of just being still. My default setting is behaving as a human doing rather than as a human being. At work, having a bias for action has served me well. It helps me to keep the end in mind, to produce, to follow through, to get 'er done. It's a task focus, and much of my work-life is all about the tasks. But work life and LIFE are not the same; life is more than just doing "one damn thing after another." (Elbert Hubbard)    Human life is about living as a human, about being human,about living as one made in the image of God. The highest name for God in the Bible is YHWH -- usually written as LORD in English; it's most basic translation is "I am."  God is being, eternal existence, ultimate reality ... life. As my friend Mark says, Jesus didn't say, "I'll show you the way. I'll point to the truth. I'll model a good life for you." Instead, Jesus declared, "I AM the way, the truth, and the life."  In his essence, Jesus is life.  See! What did I tell you?! ... My ADD-- A Desire to Do -- kicks in and I'm off on a tangent about the nature of God. R e l a x ... B r e a t h e ... Turn back to the thought at hand. (more...)
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